C. London

A teenager is suing her tattoo artist after she claims she asked for three stars on her face, and woke up to 56.

‘It is terrible for me,’ said Kimberley yesterday. ‘I cannot go out on to the street, I am so embarrassed. I just look horrible.’

First step to not looking horrible? Don’t get any face tattoos. Second step, take that goddamned belt off. Youth these days.